The Very Real Struggles of Being an Introvert
Sometimes this personality type feels more like a curse.
As you may have guessed by the title, I am a pretty extreme Introvert. God knows I find social interaction a trialling activity at best, and I’m perfectly happy not seeing any other humans for weeks at a time without noticing or caring (excluding N of course). In fact, I kinda like it like that.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say I’m fairly sure the majority of bloggers are Introverts, if not only because of the preference to interact with people online rather than face to face… So most of you should understand these struggles:
1 | GROUP WORK/PROJECTS/ANYTHING INVOLVING GROUPS SUCKS.
Whoever thought teamwork was a good idea can go to Hell. I can’t even function in pairs, let alone whole groups of people!
2 | MEETING NEW PEOPLE IS DAUNTING BECAUSE YOUR WORDS WON’T COOPERATE
The idea of making small talk makes me cringe, and I usually say the wrong thing anyway, so my general rule is to just not talk. Yes, that is also very awkward but trust me it’s not as bad as what would come out of my mouth if I spoke.
3 | YOU ANALYSE EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL INTERACTION YOU’VE EVER HAD…EVER
Usually late at night when you’re trying to sleep. Sometimes you wonder what that one random person must have thought of you after an awkward hand shake 5 years ago.
4 | MENTALLY PREPARING YOURSELF FOR ANSWERING THE PHONE IS HARD WORK
Okay, so issues with the phone might actually be a social anxiety problem. But hey! What better crippling mix than an Introvert with social anxiety!
5 | SAYING NO TO GOING OUT IS SO SO DIFFICULT
ANY excuse will do, and sometimes it’s so Damn hard to make one up, especially in a house-share situation, when they know you’ll just be sat in your room.
Sometimes the peer pressure is just too much, and you go out, and then instantly regret it and wish you were at home snuggled up with Netflix.
6 | INVITING FRIENDS TO STAY IS A RARE OCCURRENCE
You mean, I have to constantly feel the pressure to entertain them 24/7?? What about ME TIME?!
7 | EXTROVERT PEOPLE.
What are these strange creatures, and what do they want?? My brain can’t handle this amount of output.
8 | YOU’D RATHER DIE THAN PRESENT/TALK IN FRONT OF PEOPLE
I didn’t use to mind doing this – I even did acting as a kid! I don’t know what happened, but now the thought just brings me out in a cold sweat.
9 | YOU NEED SILENCE TO WORK
I feel sorry for N and others who need to work around me. I can’t have music, radio, TV – nothing. If you’re talking, whistling or singing right now, God help you.
10 | NETWORKING AND BUSINESS STUFF IS DRAINING AF.
Must….be….professional. Must not let them see I’m dying inside…
Well, if you can’t relate to those then that must have been a weird insight into my life…
It is funny because I had always thought of being an extravert, but as I grew older I realised that I am not at all, it is more like I was extra extraverted because it was a defense mechanism that I had learnt to protect my feelings. Almost like being the clown hides the real you so that no one can really judge you. I am so shy that I become someone else. It is pretty hard to explain but I find it so hard to be myself and I get such fear people won’t like me. I really identified with this.
Holly I totally get what you mean! I have definitely done this before – particularly in my first year of secondary school. I was so nervous everyone would think I was a shy ‘geek’ so I pretended to be someone I wasn’t. At least you totally recognise this and to be honest, it’s not a bad thing! Sometimes (particularly in business/career/networking situations) you just have to fake it til you make it, and sometimes faking confidence is the best way to actually get it! Xx
Yes, I agree – I just think sometimes people get a false impression of me to begin with. But, like you said – just have to fake it to make it and people get to know me over time!
This is an intersting post. I do share some of the signs, but not all. I love going out and meeting new people, but certainly not all types of people are get on with.
I think you got me right at the phone conversations and working in silence :))
Lu
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So glad that loads of people agree with the phone thing! Was worried I’d be the only one haha xx
I share some of these, the phone one made me laugh, it is so me! Also feel really uncomfortable when other people in the office can hear me talking on the phone
Steph x
Inspirationsandme.blogspot.co.uk
Ahhh I’m so glad I’m not the only one Steph! I absolutely hate talking in the phone in front of others too… It makes me so self conscious! Xx
Pretty much everything here lol. I’ve found that being selective about the people I let in my life really helps – good people that won’t judge you for being “the quiet one” are awesome and make the anxiety of getting together better.
One of my biggest pet peeves though – even with people I really like – is if we go do stuff and then they draaaaaag out the goodbyes. I’ve had people over at my house who JUST. WON’T. LEAVE. When I say it’s time to go, I’m literally done being social and need to go recharge so it bugs me to death when people do that.
Haha that made me laugh so much Hannah! I am exactly like that when it comes to going to bed…
I like going to bed really early (I need lots of sleep to function!) – like literally 9pm haha. So when people stay over at my house and want to stay up late I freak out!
Usually I just switch off the TV and say ‘Right, I’m going to bed.’ and just leave. They kind of have to follow suit.
I must seem like a right weirdo, but I genuinely put sleep before anything in my life haha x
My in-laws are like that, you invite them for lunch and they stay until 11p.m. (yes, I said “lunch”). It’s terrible. =|
Oh man that would drive me up a wall, stay strong! lol
Haha dear God Dx poor you haha
I can relate to the majority of what you posted. I have improved a bit when it comes to #8 though, the secret is to rehearse several times.
Definitely! I have to do it as part of my job, and I find as long as you’re fully prepared and rehearsed it’s okay, but I still can only do it for about 10 minutes before my voice starts shaking and I start sweating haha x
I can relate to pretty much all of this. I think you’re right about bloggers being introverted. It’s strange, I’ve worked in bars and restaurants before and I’m fine talking to customers but staff I struggle to make small talk with. I guess that’s because the customer will leave eventually and you sort of say the same thing all the time. What’s worse is that when I’m drunk I turn into someone who is uber sociable so all the people I meet think I’m really confident and then when they see me again must think I’m an absolute arse because I am cripplingly shy. I am so quiet I think it comes across as rude sometimes, but in my head it’s pretty noisy because I’m trying to work out what to say. x
Chloe I’m exactly the same!! I totally worry that people think I’m being rude because I’m being quiet, or that they’ll think I’m bored, but I just so much prefer to listen and take everything in rather than say things without giving it thought.
In fact, I really struggle with situations when you’re put on the spot (ie. doing any kind of sales pitch/talk, Q&As, job interviews etc.). I always feel like saying “I’ll have to get back to you”, because I need to have time to formulate my answers properly first! Obviously I can’t always do that though, and then I just stumble over words like an idiot instead haha xx